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Is Merci's Refuge Right for Me?

Many women have changed their lives forever by coming to Merci’s Refuge and we believe that change is possible for you, too! But is Merci’s Refuge what you are looking for? Is this the right time? How will come impact other areas of your life? These are important questions to consider before and during the application process.

Questions to Consider:

What are the age requirements?

Merci’s Refuge is open to women between the ages of 18 and 40.

Why are you considering Merci's Refuge?

What do you hope to change in your life right now? Merci’s Refuge is not an emergency shelter or transitional housing program. Merci’s Refuge does provide a safe and sober living environment for women to live (at no financial cost to them) but is specifically tailored for those who are struggling to achieve their goals and experience joy in life because of anxiety, depression, addictive behaviors, and unhealthy relationships.

Are you ready to begin counseling?

Not everyone is at a place where they can begin the difficult work of counseling. Engaging in counseling will likely bring up uncomfortable emotions and may increase anxiety for a period of time while building new coping skills. Residents take the lead in deciding what topics and information to share but allowing oneself to feel uncomfortable emotions is often an important step in experiencing freedom and peace on a long-term basis. Effective counseling also requires building trust and vulnerability with a counselor which can be a challenging thing. Are you ready to begin that process?

Do you currently have children in your care?

Merci’s Refuge is unable to accommodate children over 12 months old. Therefore a woman would need to start the program before her child turns 4 months old so she has enough time to complete the program before her child turns 1. Women who are already separated from their children or choose to separate from them for a period of time in order to seek support can have visits with their children at or outside of Merci’s Refuge while in the program. These visits will need to be planned around the program schedule and may not be as long or as frequent as the family would like.

Are you pregnant or did you recently give birth?

Merci’s Refuge is a safe and comfortable place for moms with babies. You and your baby will have your own room. Your baby will be able to be with you for nearly all the activities except some group counseling sessions. All of our staff and volunteers have completed criminal and DCFS background checks.

How is your mental health?

If your current or recent mental health symptoms include harming yourself or others it is possible Merci’s Refuge is not the right setting for you until you obtain greater safety and stability. If so, we can help you figure out what you need right now to be safe and connect you with other resources if needed. Please do not hesitate to contact us if you do struggle with self-harming behaviors or thoughts. You can call the National Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 9-8-8.

How are you doing physically?

Residents must be physically healthy and stable enough to live in a group home environment that does not have 24/7 staff, and does not have a medical team. Residents must also be able to actively participate in a full day of activities. If you are needing immediate medical care, have health issues requiring frequent hospital visits or stays, or need in-home physical or medical assistance, Merci’s Refuge may not be the most appropriate environment for you at this time.

Do you have any legal issues that would take you away from the program?

We gladly welcome applicants who are in Drug Court programs, are on probation, parole, or are being ordered to treatment. If you have to appear in court or for probation outside of Champaign County, IL, please check with your attorney or probation officer if you will be required to appear in person, or if you can appear virtually or have your case transferred. If you are needing to travel outside of Champaign Co. frequently for legal issues it may greatly disrupt your participation in the program and therefore require you to address those legal issues first. However, we encourage you to still apply if interested in Merci’s Refuge.

Are you willing to put your job or education o hold temporarily?

During the first part of the program (4-5 months), the schedule does not allow for residents to work a job. And though exceptions might be made if classes are almost finished, or are offered online, residents also are not able to take outside education classes initially. However, a temporary break from these good things may be just what you need to focus on personal healing and growth. After completing the first phase of the program, residents can apply to stay for the second phase lasting up to 6 months, during which they can work or enroll in classes full-time outside of Merci’s Refuge.

 

Where are you at in your recovery?

Many of our residents have improved their sobriety by participating in our program. If you have recently completed a detox or inpatient addiction recovery program, or have been sober but struggling with occasional relapses then Merci’s Refuge might be a great next step for you. Residents must have two weeks of sobriety prior to intake at Merci’s Refuge. If you need to detox from alcohol, opiates or other substances, or have been abusing substances heavily within the last 30 days, or have never completed a short-term addiction-specific program, you will most likely be asked to do that first. We can help connect you with these resources.

What level of accountability do you want and need?

People need and want different levels of accountability and support. At Merci’s Refuge, we provide more than some programs and less than others. We have no desire to provide more accountability than what someone wants or needs because that feels uncomfortable for everyone. We will provide regular encouragement. We will ask good questions to help you find solutions to roadblocks. We will remind you of your goals and motivations. We will invite you into “self-evaluation” when your words or actions do not line up with your goals or the program requirements. We will provide random urine drug screening. We will monitor the use of medications. During the first 30 days, we will provide a chaperone for any outside visits or errands. In the remainder of the program, we will review your plans for the week and confirm those plans when leaving the property on your own. During the main program (not the second phase after graduation), you will not have access to your own cell phone. Instead, we will allow scheduled use of the landline for you to communicate with friends and family. These forms of accountability are designed to help residents focus on their goals for being at Merci’s Refuge. As said in recovery, it’s important to eliminate or plan for the “people, places, and things” that can trigger setbacks.

There are additional aspects of accountability at Merci’s Refuge. Please carefully consider what you want against what we provide, and feel free to ask for clarification on why we do things a certain way or what the accountability looks like.